Ocarina of Time Has the Deepest Lore
by war hippy fatigues
Summary: :v)
1. Any Percent Speedrun

The ground shook as Gohma dropped onto the floor, dead. Link took out his bottle of bugs and let them escape onto the floor, where he quickly reached down and put one back in the jar. Confident that his trick would work, he flipped into the edge of the blue circle that had appeared next to the heart container. Just as he predicted, he failed to be warped outside of the dungeon, although the light spun around as if he was warping.

He walked away from the light and towards the door at the end of the chamber, which opened to show a castle that was aflame. Link hurried past the fires and climbed the stairs, where he saw Ganondorf crumpled on the roof of the castle. A red crystal containing Zelda floated down from the sky, before fading away. Zelda looked at the young child standing before her, and at Ganondorf, before turning back to the child.

"What's going on? I don't understand..."

But Link didn't bother listening to her. Instead, he ran to one side of the roof and raised his shield. A meteor struck it and sent him hurtling down the stairs at an incredible speed. In only a few seconds he rolled all the way to the entrance of the castle, which began to sink into the ground. Zelda dazedly walked over to him.

"Would you please explain-"

Link ignored her again and ran towards the wreckage of the castle. Suddenly, Ganondorf broke free from the ruins and raised his hand. Using the last of his powers, he transformed into a giant pig monster. Link, however, was not fazed, and ducked under the monster's sword's. He grabbed a Deku stick from his bag and began wailing on the monster's tail with it, which made it howl in fury. Another swing and it fell onto the ground, writhing in pain. This was all the time Link needed to stab the stick all the way through the creature's head.

"I did it!" Link yelled. "Only 19 minutes!"


	2. Best Friends Forever

Link was nearing the outskirts of the Lost Woods when he heard something move behind him. He turned around and saw Saria standing nearby. She held an ocarina in her hands.

"Oh, you're leaving... I knew... that you would leave the forest... someday, Link... Because you are different from me and my friends... But that's OK, because we'll be friends forever... won't we? I want you to have this Ocarina... Please take good care of it. When you play my Ocarina, I hope you will think of me and come back to the forest to visit," Saria said, and handed him the ocarina.

"Saria, you have no idea how much this means to me. I promise I will treasure it forever as a symbol of our friendship."

Link gave a heartfelt nod to Saria before setting off to leave the forest.

* * *

"Link! Look in the moat!"

Link followed Navi's advice and saw a blue object floating in the water. He picked it up and identified it as the Ocarina of Time.

"I found it!" Link yelled.

"So, what are you going to do with the other ocarina?" Navi asked.

Link thought for a moment, and then threw it in a nearby dumpster.


	3. This Timeline Leads to the CDi Games

"And here is a weapon that can penetrate the Evil King's defenses... The power given to the chosen ones... The sacred arrow of light!"

Zelda handed the mystical weapon to Link. Suddenly, the room began shaking.

"That rumbling... It can't be!?"

At that moment, a magical crystal enveloped Zelda from nowhere.

"Princess Zelda! I've captured you at last!" boomed a loud voice from all corners of the room.

"Ganondorf! How dare you capture Zelda with that magic crystal beam?!" Link yelled.

"I did it because the most convenient way to capture a bearer of the triforce," Ganondorf mused. "Now that I think about it, the best way to obtain the last piece of the triforce would..."

Another magical crystal enveloped Link and transported him to Ganondorf's castle, where he reunited the triforce and took over the world.

GAME OVER  
RETURN OF GANON


	4. Cow Physics

"Wow, Link! I can't believe you beat my obstacle course record."

Link gave a noncommittal shrug.

"Let me think of something to reward you with," Malon said. "I know! How about I send a cow to your house? That way, you don't have to come all the way out here to get bottles of milk?"

"A cow in my house? I don't think that would be a good idea..."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about it. In fact the cow's already there."

Link stared at her in disbelief.

"I'm not kidding you. Go and see for yourself."

Link pulled out the Ocarina of Time and played a short melody that brought him to the Kokiri forest. He quickly found his way to his house and discovered, to his horror, that there was indeed a cow there.

* * *

"Malon?"

"Yes?"

"How did you get that cow into my house?"

"You wouldn't understand."


End file.
